When I feel like Santa Claus...

I saw their faces today. The faces of just some of the kind of people I want to help...

Let's go back for a second to me and Christmas. I talked the other day about how Christmas used to be for me, but there is one important part I forgot. Even while I still had somewhat more of an entitled mindset I still loved giving at Christmas. (Ok and Christmas music, even the Jesus kind when I wasn't sure I believed in any of this. Tell me how much sense that makes! I think HE was always trying to speak to me.)

I loved getting the tags off of those giving trees and going shopping with my mom for some little boy or girl and imagining them opening what we got them on Christmas morning. I have filled up shoe boxes for kids in poor countries through Operation Christmas Child. I have done Toys for Tots. I have done the tree at our church.

Now a days I want to give even more. And not just at Christmas. And the things I want to give are different. I am more about the practical than the fun. Food instead of toys. But I know the fun has it's place and their are plenty of people to fill that roll. It's just now, seeing that the last things left on the tree where requests for gift cards to the local foods stores, saddened me. Why does no one want to give them the most basic necessity of life?

So back to today. I went, with my eldest, and gave away some of our old things. (Murphy's law anyone? Expect a forthcoming pregnancy announcement in the next few months due to the fact that we gave in and gave away baby stuff....) Yes, the first place we stopped was the local crisis (Oh how I wish people didn't see a child as a crisis) pregnancy center. And I saw their faces. The grandparents and dads (I assume) waiting in the car while the women is inside trying to figure out if they can really have this baby. I can only hope and pray that seeing me pull up will help them realize there are people out there who want to help. A whole garage storage area worth.

So good- bye baby clothes and gear. It feels great to help the pro life cause in any concrete way. I just hope it is enough. I have been given so much and know God is calling me to give. Is my gift really that big when I have the resources to have another baby if one comes along? My gift seems so small compared to the women in the gospels who gave almost all of her money away. I give out of my extras and not out of what I can sacrifice. And I ponder the saying that it is hard for a rich man to get into heaven. And I fear my gifts are all to small.

I know God appreciates me giving them but I feel him calling me to give even more. I am finding small ways to cut back on the things I buy so I can give more. Tomorrow I will talk about some of those and how we can all help those in need during this season and throughout the year. Let's all be a St. Nicholas to someone else.