Or at least that's how I feel after my interactions (or shall I say reactions) over the last few days. What started out as a simple apology (and some oversight on my part of thinking people would not actually want to dialogue with me, but oh, did they!) turned into heated
I particularly lost my cool when "they" assumed that I was not doing something (that to me and I thought most "normal" people seemed obvious) to help my friend who finds themselves in a tough spot these days. ("How can people think this way?" insert further interactions "Oh, wait....it's cause they have actually seen people act this way-man this is a messed up world!") I totally lost it and swore. The bad words. (Sigh.) My friend got an earful of the same when I called her to
Who are "they" and why was I so angry with them? Because they are people I know very little about (and who know very little about me) who seem to have the exact opposite opinion that I do. The only things we have learned about each other have been through the internet. This is not the first time something like this has happened either.
Why does this happen? I think because it is all over the internet. There is no tone of voice or body language clues. And forget about immediate responses, it may take hours meanwhile you are stewing over the last thing the person said that ticked you off. (Maybe it is not a coincidence that the opinion of Christians has fallen so greatly since all this technology came in to play or that the kids 85 year old godmother said she noticed people being ruder the last few years than in times past.)
I took my kids to the local bounce house this morning, you know, out among the three dimensinal people. I saw actual people! And it felt great. I remembered how much I love people. I don't love screen names. I love the actual people behind them.
As I was there this morning I was really thinking hard. How are these people any different than the people over the internet. Actually, they aren't. (For all I know they could be the same people from over the internet!) The people I have been talking to the last few days look no different than the rest of us.
So just because we don't all share the same opinions does not mean we should treat each other with respect, even if it is over the internet. Each person is of great value and no one deserves it. (Even in the times we feel like worthless human beings, so go easy on me.0
This is a great tool and can be used to discuss our differing opinions but we must not forget about the humanity of the person on the other side. So what does this mean for me and all of you?
Well, first off I will soon be writing a new official comment policy for this blog. Here are just a few hints in the meantime.
1) No swearing! Yes, even me. I am going to have to learn to follow my own rules...
2) You are free to share a different opinion from the author or other commenter's but may not make them emotionally charged rants. It will be a real struggle for me in 2012 as I learn to keep my emotions in check. Think before writing Amy, think hard!
3) Keep what you are saying related to the post at hand. If it is not on the topic of the post don't submit it. It will be denied. Or look for a post it may be more suited to.
4) No degrading comments about others. This means no calling people fundies or calling the people who call them fundies loons. Degrading will be left to my discretion.
5) And finally no anonymous comments. My husband and I talked about all this on a (very long) date night last. (Seriously, the longest it has ever taken us at a resturaunt our whole lives, so much so that my father in law came searching for us because he thought for sure we were dead!) Hubby said the former parish secretary had a policy of not looking at anonymous complaint letters. They went right in the trash. in other worse, if you want to tell the pastor you hate him you better be willing to tell him who you are.
So if you are willing to say something here you must be willing to sign in under "name" and put one. Who am I to know if you are really Cindy and not Linda. At least this may stop some people who want to hide their degrading fundie/loon comments.
In general a good rule for us all to follow here or anywhere else we post on the web is "If you would not say it to someone's face do not post it." That will surely get us all thinking before we hit publish. Me included.
As for me and the fate of this blog I will finish out the Christmas Countdown Challenge through Saturday and then take a week break for holiday visits and travel. At this point a week without touching (no, no better yet-even seeing!) a computer sounds like pure bliss to me.
Then during the month of January I will be posting only on Wednesday and Friday mornings (already was planning this schedule) and the topic will be the book unChristian (cause there are just enough chapters) so we can all grow in this being nicer to each other thing.
After that the future is unsure. Given all of this maybe the internet is not the place for me. Or maybe I just have to learn to-gasp-tone down my sarcasm. (No, not the sarcasm!) Things will be more clear to me once I figure out our new home school plan over the break and get into a new routine around here.
Maybe this will grown in to a community and not just me talking to myself. Or maybe the three little disciples I have right here are all God wants me to handle right now. All I know is that I want a closer relationship with them than I feel like I had with my parents and others growing up.
Mom and dad, I am looking forward to talking about anything and everything when we come up to visit next week! (Not sure if I am ready for snow though...)
And to those by marriage only extended family members that I told I wanted you to get to know me better by reading my Christmas countdown before we all talked more over the holidays? Well you are seeing the good, the bad, and the ugly of me this week which could lead to even more interesting discussions than I thought on Christmas day! I will see you all soon!
To the rest of you, I hope you also have an enjoyable (and relaxing) holiday this year.
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