Friendship: Quantity or quaility?

Ok, so it's Thursday night and I just came across the trailer for the (In) Courage, (In) Real Life event. All of the footage was shot at Relevant. It did not make me cry and long to go back. I was not in any of it. If I was you may have seen me in the background looking for someone to talk to....

I have yet to find the community that they speak of. The real true friends who are there for you no matter what. (Besides Jesus and my husband but where is my female counterpart?) I talked to people at Relevant but three days is not enough for me to get to know someone and open up. Especially when I was trying to meet as many people as possible. I should have focused more on a few.

With my own friend I am riding with to another friends house tomorrow it has taken almost seven years. (We met on New Year's Eve 04' And we kicked the boys butts in Trivial Pursuit!) I am finally just getting to really know her. Not that we haven't shared things over the years but it has still never gone too deep. (Perhaps I have trust issues from the fourth grade when someone said they were my "best friend" and then later ditched me once the popular crowd let them back in the circle. Yeah, girls have always seemed strange to me. I've never gotten how this kind of thing makes sense.)

Instead I do silly things like sit behind this screen all afternoon while my children sleep. Now that I am getting a taste of real friendship it is not as satisfying any more. So while I have on line "friends" I think I am going to be doing more in real life meeting.

What about you, especially at this time of year? Do you send out Christmas cards to all your "friends"? How many of them are really your friends? This is something I had to think about this year when my husband questioned me on it. "How well do you know these people? Do you communicate with them the rest of the year? Why don't you spend more time with the people right around you all year? I would like if we could do things were everyone was involved instead of you just sending out cards." Good long (hard) thought insued. (And help from the eldest to integrate him into this years card experience-my apologies if your stamp was crooked...)

So while I may not send out as many cards next year it is not because you have not all been important to me at some point in my life. Many of you I considered friends at one time but we have lost touch, save the "Christmas card friendship". (Seriously, still waiting for an e-mail response back from someone cause I think they may have a kid I was previously unaware of. Only nine out of twelve months would have been required for that.)

Maybe your part of my new big extended family and I wish I got to see you in real life more. (I miss Grammy's Christmas party for that. I only got to three but it was great!)

Or maybe you have known me my whole life and you are my parents friends. I can always send the cute pics to my mom for her to give to you. But as for me, I think next year I need to spend more time with my in real life friends and focusing on my family than doing the insane number of Christmas cards I do.

Again, know that even though we may not all do the best at keeping in touch, I love you all, because, well, I know how much God loves you and I am tending to see things the way He sees them more often these days.

(Side note: Since writing this it has come to my attention that telling you God loves you may be taken offensively but I still say it because I know it's true. Sorry if you take it the wrong way. If you don't want to read about it you are free to not read this blog...)